Halloween isn’t really one of our favorite holidays. It’s a holiday that kind of creeps up on us. All of a sudden it’s here and then we’re stressed to complete costumes. But the actual dressing up, hanging out with friends, and trick-or-treating is very fun. And it’s a reason to celebrate, right?
“Until further notice, celebrate everything…” Just last week I was given that saying on a sign made for me by my dear friend’s dear mother. Celebrating everything is what I do a lot of the time. I feel like “celebrating” the different aspects of my life, all the different situations I find myself in, all the people I associate with, and all that I learn along the way. That may sound a little cheesy, or like overkill, but I mean it.
I had a hard day last Friday, probably the first real “bad” day since chemo ended. But it wasn’t too bad, just a little on the unpleasant side compared to all the wonderful days I’ve had over the past two years. And it was actually a buildup of several situations over a few weeks added to a sleep deprived state that finally made me hit a wall. I just let some things get to me that I shouldn’t have regarding interactions with colleagues. In the midst of my pity party, someone said something to me that helped me snap out it. “I can understand how you feel bad about not having any friends,” at work. What? Wait a minute, is that what it sounds like I’m saying? What I meant was that I’m just not really enjoying some of the treatment I’m getting from some of my colleagues. And guess what, they’re not my friends, and thank goodness. Not so sure that I want mean people to be my friends. And another thing, I do have some great friends that I work with, and that’s where my focus and energy should be.
So, I quickly refocused on the friends that are in my heart, both at work and elsewhere, and I became so overcome with emotion so quickly, it really felt as though my heart would burst. I really am so incredibly fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life. And that’s something absolutely worth celebrating.
“… celebrate everything…” because you never know when the event, person, item, relationship, etc… will be gone.
I haven’t written much specifically about Parker yet. Porter has 6 years on him so I can’t wait to see what crazy things I’ll be writing about Parker in the years to come. I went to Parker’s first parent teacher conference today. While I was sitting with his teacher, on a tiny chair next to a tiny table, I noticed the coat hooks lining the wall labeled with each student’s name. They looked similar to the ones in the picture. I searched for Parker’s name and couldn’t find it. Then I saw it on a white, plastic hook adhered to the wall right next to the rows of coat hooks. Come to find out, he had to have a hook that was lower than the already low preschool height hooks.
The year before Parker was born it was a law theme. Porter was a motorcycle cop, I was judge, and Clint was the criminal. 
Last year, Porter and Parker were bikers with bandanas, leather, and tattoos. This year? It hasn’t been decided. We have a few ideas. Porter’s very much into Danny Zuko, so we could do a Grease theme. He’s also into KISS and Parker has a tongue that rivals Gene Simmons’ tongue. What will it be? You’ll have to wait and see.
We’ve had other incidents since then with other outfits and even with my hair. I have been told that I can’t wear my hair a certain way because I’m a mom, not a kid. And he’s never liked my hair pulled back. The latest was over a pair of boots, the ones he had a melt down over. I looked all last year for a pair of knee high boots I could wear with capris and skirts. So, of course, I find a pair when I’m not meaning to. Before I even try them on, Porter tells me that I’m not going to get them. I try them on, and he’s getting anxious. Then we go through the “Not my mom,” rants and he tells me it’s because they are too sexy and his mom doesn’t wear sexy clothes. I try to calm him down by showing him boots with stiletto heels and other shoes that are “sexy,” but he’s not having it. In fact, at one point he said to me, “Who are you?”
So, our tiny Parker started school. Hard to believe he’s 3. He’s still not there in clothes size, but he has grown, a little. Clint has been very worried about Parker going to school. He is being transported by bus from daycare, two mornings a week. Clint has had very disturbing thoughts of Parker getting lost, left on the bus, wandering off without notice, etc…. “He’s just so small…” Clint made a plan to observe the drop off process and after dropping Porter off, went straight over to Parker’s school. I called him later that morning to see how it went. Clint said, “I think I made it worse,” and I replied, “Made what worse?” Then Clint tells me how Parker started crying when he saw Clint. “WHAT? He saw you?” Ay yi yi! “You didn’t just watch from the truck?” “No, I got out and he saw me,” then Clint went on to explain the exiting process, the adult to kid ratio, and how Parker got “carried” off the bus and the other kiddos got help “walking” off. Needless to say, Clint seems to feel okay with the process now. Phew!
Apparently, there is a party at Porter’s school each morning before the bell. He walked to school one morning with his best buddy, which I wasn’t aware of until the next morning (Clint gets him ready for school and I had a couple late nights away from home this week). He was begging to call his buddy (at 7 a.m.) to see if he wanted to walk again. I told him he had to wait a little while; it was just too early to be calling people. Then he told me about how they walked, got to school early, and “Mom, it’s like a party! Kids are playing football and basketball. We’re talking and hanging out!” Wow! I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard school described in quite that way, but I’m definitely excited that he’s still excited about school. It amazes me, that in spite of his challenges, he enjoys school so much, and it’s not just the social aspect, he loves to learn, even if he doesn’t do it in quite the same way as other kids. 
As for me, I’m not a classroom teacher this year. I’m the data specialist for our school, a new position and one I’ll be inventing and reinventing along the way. I’m excited to work towards improving instruction for our students, which means working on equity and the achievement gap. My admin classes and job go together nicely, and it doesn’t hurt that I should have a more flexible schedule. Though I do miss having students, I still get to see the ones I had last year, and hope to be getting to know the incoming seventh graders too! 
“Mom, I quit smoking,” Porter announced to me during breakfast one morning. My response was something like, “Well, that’s good, because smoking isn’t good for you.” As a point of clarification, this was over breakfast, a time when my head is usually buried in the daily paper while I mechanically attend to my children’s needs (i.e. passing them a napkin, pouring a drink, etc…). And besides that, I wasn’t really expecting a statement of that caliber to come from Porter’s innocent mouth.
“Live in the moment.” This is much easier said than done. It’s definitely become much easier for me to do because of all that’s happened in my life, especially the threat of life ending. So I did that, especially well this past week while I was in San Diego for a business/pleasure trip. I worked hard and played equally hard. While in class, I was focused on the task(s) at hand. When out and about, I enjoyed whatever it was we happened to be doing. I didn’t worry too much about before or later, tomorrow or next, what ifs or might have beens. I just lived in the now, the moment as it was happening. This is probably why “